This is going to be a short one. It has been a week. My son’s daycare is closing, meaning most of my free time has been spent scrambling to find a new one. Work’s been extra busy for both me and my fiancé, and all I want to do is play Civ 6.
The Best Ted Talks for Moms Parents – I updated the title, because why just moms? I like TED talks because they’re short little bursts of information. You don’t need 40 minutes to set aside to watch. You don’t even need to watch; I often just listen. Perfect for moms parents.
Do you ever feel like you have absolutely no motivation? Do you have the kind of moments where even though you’ve managed to snag a second of free time, you just don’t know what to do with yourself? After becoming a parent, my free time has diminished to nearly nothing. You’d think that when I manage to grab a few minutes, I’d want to do All The Things. Play All The Games. Read All The Books. Get All The Things Done Around The House.
Okay, sometimes that’s true. But sometimes I’ll realize I can do whatever I want and nothing sounds appealing. Sometimes all I want to do is sit and play 2048 for the 2049th time even though it’s the most unproductive thing I could do. Because this happens a lot, I’ve developed some coping strategies for what to do when you just can’t do anything.
Go ahead and do nothing. If this sounds too terrible to fathom, set a timer for 15 minutes and do nothing until the timer goes off. Manoush Zomorodi has a whole book about how being bored helps us come up with great ideas. Remember being bored as a kid? Didn’t it feel terrible at the time? But now it feels like a luxury. Indulge. Let yourself be bored.
Engage in some Self Care
Self care is different for everyone, so don’t take a bubble bath if you don’t like bubble baths. I usually go for a walk, take a hot shower, or cuddle with my cat. Some people enjoy gardening or exercising. Maybe your form of self-care is to scream into a pillow or re-arrange your precious moments figurines. I’m not here to judge.
Get One Tiny Thing Done
Instead of cleaning your whole entire house, find something on your to-do list that’s small and tackle that. Maybe this burst of accomplishment will push you forward into completing more tasks. Maybe it won’t, but at least now your kitchen sink is clean.
If none of those things work, there’s always mobile games and Netflix. Don’t feel guilty. We all need to zone out sometimes.
What do you do when you don’t feel like doing anything?
I was going to write about Sims features I want brought into real life, but then life happened: emergencies and lunch meetings at work, Indy’s swimming lesson, and voting in the primaries. Instead, here’s a photo of me in my car with a “just voted” sticker.
We decided to bring the toddler voting with us so he sees it as something you always do. He enjoyed the part where you put the ballot into the machine. At the end he decided he did not want to leave the building (city hall) and put up a fuss.
His sticker and my sticker have gone missing. If you have any information on their whereabouts, please contact me immediately.
Here’s a recap of what I’ve been reading, playing, and doing this week! It’s been a fairly low-key week. My fiancé took Indy to his mom’s (Indy’s grandma’s) yesterday morning, so I was able to have some alone time. As an introvert, this is essential, and as a mom, this is rare. It also means more time for reading and gaming!
Our pick for this month for work book club is The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. It tells the story of Greek hero Achilles from the point of view of his partner, Patroclus. Miller doesn’t hesitate to capture how terrible it was for nearly everyone in ancient Greek society, particularly women. My knowledge of Achilles from from the film Troy. I know how the story ends, but I’m engrossed regardless. My coworker liked it so much he’s already read another book by the author plus The Iliad and The Odyssey.
After a bit of fun playing our low level goblins, my fiancé and I decided to pick something to boost to 110. After all my talk of going Horde, we picked Alliance. He wanted to be a Gnome. He’s a Mage and so I picked a Draenai Warrior. I thought if I could tank we could more easily get into dungeons.
Flash forward to after I confirmed the boost when I remember why I never tanked before. I get lost. The tank always seems to be the person who knows where to go next in a dungeon and I am terrible with directions. I suppose if it’s too terrible I could switch specs or finish leveling something I started way back when. A healer this time.
I spent most of today’s nap time playing Civ 6. I have a special relationship with Civ and Sims games that involves buying the latest version right away, playing it at launch, then initially hating it and wanting to jump back to the previous version. Then I’ll let it be for a while until I get the urge to play again, and at that point I’ll be hooked. Sims 4 has been more difficult and I still miss some of the features from Sims 3, but I’m totally on board with Civ 6. The Civ games are a series I can see myself playing with my kid when he’s older. My latest game has been as Gilgamesh.
Although, reading Song of Achilles has me wanting to play as Greece. I hardly ever Finish Civ games so I’ll probably start over!
Last week I wrote a lot of blog posts! I’m sure that will continue this week. Currently bouncing around in my head is a great idea for a fantasy novel, but I’ve been really itching to write a short story. Maybe I could condense the concept into something smaller. Meanwhile my in progress novel remains untouched.
We tried a new taco place: Stan Diego. It’s a joke, because the town it’s in is called Standale. There is a big orange VW van with surfboards on it inside which I think is supposed to represent San Diego. I’ve been there several times and never saw one. Indoor vehicles aside, the chicken taco was phenomenal.
This morning we rode our bikes to a nearby park which boasts a play area for smaller kids. I found this appealing because I’m always terrified Indy is going to fall off big play equipment. Of course, the first thing he wanted to do was go down the slide in the big kid area. The tall one where the hand rail is higher than his head. He also climbed up the jungle gym, with me right behind.
The bike ride part was genius. It’s easier to get a toddler to leave the playground if he’s going in a bike trailer instead of the car.
What did you read, play, write, or do last week? I need to publish this post now–before my bedtime!
It’s Friday, which means it’s almost the weekend! It also means here’s a little list of yummy links to gobble up.
How to stream Making It – You know you want to watch Making It, the crafting competition with Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman. If you’re like me and never watch TV when it actually airs, you’re in luck! There are lots of streaming options.
ZigZag is my new favorite podcast! Two women are taking on journalism by starting their own company and this is their journey. And they’re both moms! The host, Manoush Zomorodi is one of my personal heroes.
A Leisurely Pace is a fantastic little piece about choosing not to make “meaningful progress” in a video game. Because that feels like work. I don’t want playing games to feel like work. That’s the whole point!
Braxwolf discusses playing video games when your kids get older. How do you find time when they go to bed later and there’s only so much overlap in your interests? That is one good thing about having a two year old: early bed times and long naps.
If I’ve learned one thing this week it’s that people are upset over Blizzard’s narrative direction leading up to the new expansion. The MMO Syndicate has one of my favorite theories: the possibility of switching sides. Unlikely, but I’m imagining a long and epic quest chain involved. Fun idea, right?
This Wired piece about writing a short story following rules generated by a bot is from December, but it’s new to me. The rules the bot came up with were fascinating, particularly how much dialog women could have. The story suffered from all the required adverbs. I try to avoid adverbs in my writing. The article includes an annotated version of the actual story. Despite the excessive adverbs, it has an interesting concept: what if we discover life on another planet, but all we can do is watch them from a distance?
Happy Blaugust! I’m so excited to be part of this terrific community of bloggers. If it wasn’t for this event, I’d still be overthinking the whole blogging thing. This blog would not exist. You wouldn’t be reading it. My fiancé and I wouldn’t have started playing World of Warcraft again. (Yeah, after more overthinking we decided to give it a go. We rolled a couple level 1 Goblins just for fun. Let me know if you want to play with us!)
The concept of the initial Blaugust was to write one post every day August. Blaugust Reborn has different goal tiers. I’m aiming for 15 posts. I could do more, but I’m a parent, and I have a full-time job. Sometimes writing a blog post during my lunch break isn’t what I want to spend it doing. I don’t particularly like doing thing-a-day style challenges. 15 gives me enough days off in case something comes up but I’ll still get the Silver award. If I write more, awesome. If a catastrophe happens and I end up writing less, oh well.
Lucky for us, I already have a plethora of post ideas bumbling around in my head. Stay tuned for thoughts on topics such as:
Nerding out when you’re in a relationship with a Jock
Why “nerd” is a way better term than “geek”
Protecting your data online
Kids and online bullying and harassment
Adventure game recommendations
Parents in video games
Learning to code
How parenting has changed since we were kids
Pictures of my cats
Screenshots of my adorable shoblin
If you have a suggestion of a topic that intersects parenting and technology, please send me a note. I’m also looking for stories and insights from parents of older kids. When do you give them a cell phone? How much should you monitor what they’re doing online? As a parent of a 2-year-old, these are things I’m thinking worrying about already.
Except–that’s not true anymore. Social media killed Internet anonymity. That can be both good (it’s a lot harder to be an asshole online and get away with it) and bad (no more anonymous soul-bearing). Since I am blogging about parenting and my family, I have to decide if I want to use real names.
I rarely post photos of my child on my Instagram. If I do, they’re usually from behind, at a weird angle, from a long distance, or heavily filtered through Prisma. Facebook is a different story. I’m constantly hearing from relatives I barely get to see in real life how much they love seeing photos of my son on Facebook. As long as he doesn’t object, I’ll continue to post those.
Something feels off-putting about the mommy insta-celebrities who constantly post photos of their children to shill products. I try not to be judgmental about others’ parenting unless they’re harming themselves or others. This is not a “mommy wars” blog.
I’m using my own real name, and I’ll refer to my fiancé as my fiancé until mid-September, when he becomes my husband. But what about my kid? Calling him “my kid” feels weird. What if I have another kid? I’m not going to use his real name. I actually had a post written about why I was going to use it, and then I changed my mind. I don’t think it’s worth it.
Safety is one reason. If someone wanted to find his real name, they can. It’s 2018. But I don’t want to make it easier for them. I’m also concerned about bullying. While I’d rather kids be taught not to bully, I’d hate for a bully to find an upcoming post on potty training and use it as bullying material.
Because I don’t want to keep calling him “my kid” I’ve decided to use a made-up name for him. Henceforth he shall be called “Indy” for his independent nature. It’s not his real name. It’s not even similar to his real name. As a fake internet pseudonym coined by his mother, it suits him.
Parents, do you post photos of your kid or use their real name publicly online? Why or why not?
Some of my fondest gaming memories come from playing with my little brother. He’s 8 years younger than me, and I’d often let him shoot or fight while I moved the character around on the screen. What I don’t really remember is how old we were when we played together, and I’d like to know, because I’ve been wondering:
When will I be able to play games like this with my 2 1/2 year old? Could we start now?
Currently the only game I ever play “with” him is Pokemon Go. I’m not counting pushing him around in the stroller while I visit PokeStops. He likes to watch me do maintenance tasks like transfer and heal my Pokemon. (We refer to them as Pokemans at home, but I’ll spare you all.) He likes to click on the Pokemon so they do their little action and spin them around on the screen. It’s not much, but he becomes quite whiny when it’s time to be done, so I’m not inclined to do it with him very often regardless of how much he asks to see “Poke-Hands.”
Should you let your toddler watch you play video games? Would this allow you to get a bit more gaming time in and bond with your kid at the same time, or would it just be frustrating for both of you? Here are a few questions to ask yourself to determine if this might be worthwhile.
Can your toddler handle watching without participating?
The latest episode of one of my favorite podcasts, Massively OP, not only MENTIONS THIS BLOG (!!!) but includes one of the hosts (Justin) discussing playing games while his kids watch. My child is not ready to handle this yet. I mostly play on the PC, and he can’t deal with being around someone on a computer without wanting to use the keyboard and mouse himself. This is completely understandable. He’s a toddler, and to him a keyboard is just a slab covered with buttons. How could he possibly resist?
You might get away with giving your toddler a spare keyboard or controller so they think they’re playing, even if their button smashing doesn’t actually do anything. You’d have to be sure they wouldn’t realize what was going on, or just want to use your controller for no other reason than it’s the one you’re using.
Is the content appropriate for your toddler?
I leave it up to individual parents to decide what content is appropriate for their children. If you really want to play something super violent and you don’t want your kid exposed to that kind of content, you might want to wait to play that particular game after they go to bed. Check your Steam list and determine if there’s anything you want to play that you feel comfortable playing in front of your kid.
Are you concerned about screen time?
Disclaimer: I’m not a pediatrician, psychologist, child development specialist, or parenting “expert” so if you’re concerned about screen time, I highly encourage you to do your own research. That said, I think if you’re actively engaged interacting with your child while you’re playing, it seems like more quality time than sticking them alone to zone out in front of a TV show.
In my personal experience, my toddler becomes a mini tyrant once the TV or phone is turned off. This discourages us from wanting to give him any to avoid the affront to our ears when it’s time to stop.
Do you just not want to?
In the podcast episode, Justin talks about how his kids issue instructions at him when he plays The Sims. Maybe you don’t want this. Maybe you want to make your own decisions and not have a high pitched voice telling you what to do for once. Maybe you just want to play your game by yourself.
I’m passing on playing video games with my son for now. I think it will be something fun we can do together when he’s a little older, when he’s not ripping the keyboard out of my hands and throwing a tantrum when it’s time to put it away.
For those of you with toddlers, do they ever watch you play video games? How does it go? For those with older kids, how old were they when you started gaming together?